LOVING INTENTIONALLY
Sparks didn’t fly on their first meeting 7 years ago in a football game. Actually, Marienne’s initial impression of Shinn was cocky. As anyone could imagine, nothing came out of the encounter. They stayed acquaintances until reconnecting through Facebook 5 years later. He came across some of her posts reflecting on her life in which he could relate to.
They started out with polite chatter, later turning into frequent messages with the intention of getting to know each other. She found out his love for surfing and that he was a videographer. He discovered her love for music and performance. So, when Shinn and his friends organized an open mic event, Marienne came up to mind and encouraged her to go.
When asked who made the first move, Marienne stated that her partner did. He explained that, at the open mic event, they didn’t get to have much interaction, hence casually asking her to catch up over dinner at Jamie Oliver’s without any ulterior-motive.
“For me, it was the fact we didn’t get to chat on that day. So, I thought it’d be nice to ask her. I think I was so relaxed about it because I wasn’t really thinking that it was a date.” — Shinn
Looking back now, both agreed that was their first date.
When asked what changed in their relationship, they confessed that there were more messages and more group hang outs. Not wanting to rush anything, they continued being friends with uncertainty of mutual attraction.
A month and a half in, their friends were making comments, wondering if they were dating and when they’re going to define the relationship.
“For us, as Christians, we’re like “How do we honor each other the right way? How do we do this the right way” kind of thing. I remember asking my friends “What is this term “define the relationship”? How do you even go about doing that?” The more people I’ve asked, people who have been through it or been dating a long time, none of it went to plan so it gave me so much hope in that sense.” — Shinn
The way they defined their relationship was through a miscommunication. Marienne brought up a question “How do you define the relationship well?” through Whatsapp to which he misinterpreted it as “What are we?” He then texted her his confession to which she replied to an hour later via call, requiting his feelings.
They wanted to leave us with this:
“And be ok with not so great times. I think sometimes people think that your barometer, have to always be on a high, always have to be perfect. Otherwise, it’s not working. I think early on, what Marienne did really well was teach me that it’s ok. Everything’s ok.” — Shinn
“The best thing you can do in a relationship is be intentional with it. Know that, in a lot of ways, it is your responsibility. You can grow it and choose not grow it. It’s always a choice. Love is a choice” — Marienne
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